Their Father Made Them Orphans
(Forensic Files, “All Wet”)
On November of 2018, media outlets all over the country ran an AP story reporting that Tim Boczkowski was up for parole in North Carolina.
The prospect of the Tar Heel State releasing a man found guilty of drowning both of his wives — one in a bathtub in Greensboro in 1990 and the other in a hot tub in Pittsburgh in 1994 — made for scintillating headlines.
Sentence has teeth. But the fact is that Boczkowski, who the press has called an American Bluebeard, has almost no chance of getting out and snagging a new spouse on Match.com.
Even if the onetime owner of a dental-supply business wins parole, North Carolina will immediately turn him over to authorities in Pennsylvania, where he has a separate life sentence waiting for him.
For this week, I looked for a story with more possibilities: What happened to Boczkowski’s daughter and two sons, who were school-aged when they lost their loving biological mother and then their kind-hearted stepmother?
Media-friendly. At the time of the second murder, of Maryann Boczkowski in 1994, Todd was 9 years old, Sandy 10, and Randy 13.
The trio gave separate on-camera interviews on “While the Children Slept,” the American Justice episode about the case. They said they supported their father’s innocence. “Whether he’s guilty or innocent, I’m still going to love him,” said Todd.
That same year, the kids also spoke out in court during the sentencing phase of the Maryann Boczkowski homicide trial. They asked the court to spare their dad’s life, but he got a death sentence anyway. (Judge Donna Jo McDaniel later reduced it to life.)
Musical homes. As of 2003, when Forensic Files originally aired “All Wet,” about the deaths of Elaine Pegher Boczkowski and Maryann Fullerton Boczkowski, the kids were saying they still loved their father and believed that both of their moms died accidentally.
So, what has happened to them since Tim Boczkowski traded his Dockers for prison scrubs?
Although they were shuffled around a lot, the Boczkowskis managed to stay together. They first lived with their aunt and then their grandparents, but for whatever reason, they couldn’t care for them permanently.
Odyssey concludes. The kids landed in a happy foster home, but it was overcrowded and its location made it impossible for all of them to continue school in the North Hills District of Allegheny County, Pennsylvania.
In 1996, the AP reported that the Boczkowski kids were searching for a new foster home where they could stay together and in the same school district.
Here’s the best part of the story: 100 people applied to adopt them.
Faithful offspring. County authorities narrowed down the list to 20. The kids, who were ages 12 to 15 by then, decided on a couple whose own children who had grown up and moved out, according to an AP story from January 17, 1997.
But they hadn’t forgotten about their original dad. According to another AP account: “They write him and are allowed one phone call a year. They’ve mailed him photos and sent him tins of cookies for Christmas.”
In the meantime, the new foster family must have done a good job.
Impressive résumés. The kids participated in sports in school, finished college, and went on to have LinkedIn profiles brimming with keywords like “sales funnels,” “competitive compensation structure,” and “social interaction through a behavioral system.”
(Not exactly sure what all those terms mean, but they sound like the stuff hiring managers like to see.)
Randy, the eldest child, grew up to work with at-risk young men at George Junior Republic and later joined a Philadelphia-area crowd-management company as an intern and rose to branch manager.
Baby a hero. His sister, Sandy, graduated from North Carolina State and has had a decade-long career as an employment recruiter and expert on talent development for private industry.
And the youngest Boczkowski, Todd, trained with the Civil Air Patrol when he was 16. He joined the U.S. Air Force and became a military police officer. In 2006, a Virginia Daily Press story mentioned Todd after he came to the aid of a child at the scene of a shooting in Hampton.
After his military service, Todd worked in online marketing for several years before he and a business partner established their own digital consulting firm in Pittsburgh.
No hell-raiser. Meanwhile, their father, Tim Boczkowski, lives in medium security at the Nash Correctional Institution. His last legal action of note came in 2007, when his bid for a new trial for Maryann Boczkowski’s death was rejected.
Boczkowski’s prison record reflects good behavior — no infractions or escape attempts.
There aren’t any recent media accounts about the kids’ relationship with their father, but I suspect they still believe in his innocence, especially considering that Sandy Boczkowski has chosen to live in Raleigh — just 47 miles from where her dad occupies a cell in Nashville, North Carolina.
That’s all for this post. Until next time, cheers. — RR
Watch the Forensic Files episode on YouTube or Amazon Prime
andonline
Such a sad story to lose two moms by their Dad’s hand, but heartwarming to see them succeed. Thanks for the update.
Hi. I am glad they are going great.
Old folks say the devil skips a generation, in a complex and evil grand design composed of hope and let-down. Wonder how the grand-kids will turn out.
Thanks, Rebecca. Good to see after the heartache they’ve seemingly done well and are hopefully content, father notwithstanding. He probably should have got the death penalty, but if only for their sake I’m glad he didn’t – though that leaves the families of his murdered wives perhaps dismayed…
Allowed one call a year is pretty mean. If you’re not going to impose the death penalty, why impose torturous restriction like that, when it could make a big difference to both parties? He might as well be allowed regular contact with his children if they wish.
It is interesting to note how many times killers have used bathtubs to coverup a murder although in this case, the 2nd was a hot tub instead. It includes a pastor, William Guthrie, too. It also falls into a large class of killers who used the same method of coverup twice. Michael Peterson used “fall down the staircase” twice. Dentist Barton Corbin used “suicide by gunshot” twice. Two killers used antifreeze twice, Lynn Turner and Stacey Castor (who finally died in prison 2016). Castor later attempted to kill her daughter after framing her for the previous murders Stacey committed.
I hope the kids are doing fine. I can’t imagine how awful it would be to have a parent kill the other parent or step-parent. The kids of killers should not suffer guilt by association even when they are not also direct victims. I have watched a few episodes of “Monster in My Family” by Mellisa Moore, the daughter of the Happy Face serial killer Keith Jesperson.
The greatest memorial legacy to a victim was that left to Adam Walsh by his father John in creating America’s Most Wanted to aid in bringing justice to those victims of monsters.
Aji: Yes, re-used homicide means may indicate laziness or failure of imagination – and such ‘repeats’ have certainly contributed to conviction. Re Castor, what a piece of work she was – trying to blame her daughter, whom she’d also tried to kill, for the second husband’s poisoning death (having almost certainly murdered her first). She died in prison: an end such an appalling creature richly deserved. Water may be enticing as it may be thought to mask or eradicate some forensic evidence, such as rapists who make their victims bathe, and in combination with alcoholic intoxication or medication provides a plausible means of drowning.
Dorothea Puente
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dorothea_Puente
is another who comes to mind: not sure she used the same method each time, but having killed one of her lodgers for his social security cheques (Brit spelling!) and got away with it, she did it with several, burying them all over her garden. It was only a matter of time before questions/searches began due to her progressive greed… Pure evil.
I wish they would have put him to death. He Premeditated both murders. He Killed two innocent women … these kids have forgotten their mom. If this creep cared one drop for his children he would tell the truth. But oh right, he’s a vicious murderer and worthless father.
Father should have been put to death years ago. The fact the kids still love him is sickening. I’ll support my family up until the point there’s forensic evidence proving they killed someone, then after that, no support and they’re cut off from my life.
Taluta – I honestly think the father brainwashed them. How can they not miss their mothers enough to even consider his guilt? And the daughter as a child corroborated his statement that there was a loud thud in the bathroom when her biological mom died. The thud would have happened when he was IN the bathroom killing her, if anything. Maybe he coached or threatened them. Why they love him this much disturbs me, and I don’t understand all the sympathy they get. They couldn’t care less about their dead moms.
Tyler: Maybe you’re a bit harsh… If we REALLY love someone, such as our father, might we stand by them in spite of the worst thing they could do (murder another love one)? By ‘standing by’ I absolutely don’t mean denying the undeniable, excusing, or minimising what they did. I mean simply that you don’t abandon. After all, their mother’s gone; he’s the only parent left. If they accept what he’s accused of, it’s for them to forgive if they choose.
I don’t suggest they SHOULD stand by him or forgive, just that it’s perfectly understandable if they do.
Sometimes this takes the form of denying overwhelming evidence of guilt, perhaps because the alternative’s so painful, so it’s easier to declare to ourselves ‘s/he’s innocent.’ Sometimes it may be merely for public consumption, when they know the (likely) truth. Insistence on innocence despite overwhelming evidence can’t, of course, be defended; the more mature position being to accept that evidence while acknowledging the truth that blood’s thicker than water and you can’t abandon someone you love or loved despite the grave harm they did.
Marcus, I completely agree with you. Love is love. Tyler does seem a bit harsh with his “cut off from my life” statement.
However, I would like to clarify the “blood is thicker than water” comment. The entire saying is, “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.” Comes from the shedding of soldiers blood in battle, which they say makes a stronger bond between those soldiers than the bond of being genetically related!
Kim, thanks for giving the entire quote — I had no idea.
Hello, Kim. Thanks for the interesting info. Although the phrase is generally used as I did, you prompted me to do a bit of research, and it seems that yours is one interpretation (which has the opposite meaning of the usual one of the (shorter) phrase. There seems to be disagreement about which of the two ‘versions’ is the complete/correct. But I’ve learned another version now, thanks, perhaps reflected in the notion of ‘blood brothers’ (related not by biology but ‘love’ – perhaps by ceremonial co-mingling of blood).
This discusses our question:
https://english.stackexchange.com/questions/147902/original-meaning-of-blood-is-thicker-than-water-is-it-real
Your version’s inclusion of “covenant” suggested to me an Old Testament reference (particularly because blood is highly thematic in both OT and NT) – but that seems incorrect.
Thanks again for the info, of which I’d never come across.
Thank you so much for the update. It’s so great to hear that the kids turned out well despite the tragedies their dad put them through.
So glad you enjoyed the update! Those kids must have drawn a lot of strength from one another.
My Murder Story (on ID 4/2/20) Season 1, ep 5 called Soaked in Murder featured interviews w/all 3 kids. The youngest went around and spoke to investigators & friends of the parents. At the end, he tried to speak to the dad who wouldn’t see him. But the dad later wrote a letter admitting to being responsible for the real mom’s death. All three said they believe he killed both of their mothers and deserve to be in jail. Interesting to me b/c I remember old interviews where they believed in their dad. I feel sorry for them but they seemed like they are doing ok in life and are still very close.
I’ll look for the episode online – thanks for the scoop!
Was this episode after the FF episode? Maybe they finally saw the truth about their moms’ deaths.
What they claim to think to the public and what they actually think may be different, and they simply don’t wish to air anger/division publical. It’s possibly easier to say you love than hate a parent in public, regardless of that parent’s terrible acts…
Yes. FF was 2003, My Murder Story was 2020. So about 16-17 years. They are all adults in their 30s now.
Interesting: I also recall, per FF or another show (I don’t recall), that the children believed their father’s innocence claim. If he’s now ‘fessing-up, that’s significant. We certainly can’t blame them for believing him, whatever the evidence (I forget their ages at the time); it’s just dreadful they were presented with that dilemma…
Todd is on facebook and is part of our support group for survivors of narcissists.
He has shared his story with us.
He has indicated that he know his dad murdered his mom and step mom.
He inspires women everyday to see the warning signs.
Are there ‘warning signs’? If a woman’s attracted to a narcissist (they’re of both sexes, of course), she’s at least arguably attracted *because* he is (although she wouldn’t use the term, being pejorative, rather being attracted to the characteristics), thus ‘warning signs’ are irrelevant. If, on the other hand, you mean warning signs of desire or attempt to murder, are they either not entirely obvious or too subtle to exhibit anything that could be regarded as signs?
I can only think you mean ‘warning signs of controlling/dangerous men.’ But, again, it could be argued that she was attracted to such characteristics. Narcissism per se can’t be regarded as incompatible with relationships, thus that just leaves men who are nasty to women or their partners – not necessarily narcissistically based.
And I presume you mean the group relates to perceived narcissists rather than those with a clinical diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder? Do we know that this perp has such a diagnosis?
Hard to know whether, from Todd’s perspective, it’s better for him to regard his father as guilty or to believe in his innocence (however likely deluded that is). Perhaps his father’s confessed to him…
Wow, what an interesting development — Todd did seem to have a realistic outlook on who his father is.